THE ULTIMATE DEBT-DEFYING GAG GIFT: We all have that one friend (or maybe it's you) whose phone is permanently on "Do Not Disturb" to avoid those pesky 1-800 numbers. This "Repossession" candle is the perfect hilarious gift for anyone navigating the high-stakes game of credit scores and financial chaos.

100 HOURS OF DODGING BILLS: Your debt might be accruing interest, but this candle is a one-time investment in pure peace. Our massive 16oz mason jar candles (Net Wt 13.5 oz) offer a long-lasting 80–100 hour burn time, lasting through every ignored phone call and "the check is in the mail" promise.

SMALL-BATCH FARM QUALITY: The label is all about financial instability, but our craftsmanship is solid gold. Each candle is hand-poured with care on our family farm using 100% natural soy wax for a clean, soot-free burn that won't distract you from your next side hustle.

SCENTS FOR THE "OFF THE GRID" LIFESTYLE: From the "New Identity" vibes of Fresh Linen to the "Treat Yourself While You Can" sweetness of Black Raspberry Vanilla, our premium fragrances are designed to fill your home while you pretend you're not home when someone knocks.

USA MADE & REUSABLE MASON JAR: Proudly made in the USA with heavy-duty glass. Once you’ve burned through 100 hours of peak financial avoidance, clean out the jar and reuse it for storing loose change or an iced coffee to fuel your next hustle.

The "Repossession" Scent Menu

• Sandalwood & Suede (The "Old Money" Illusion): A rich, sophisticated blend of cedarwood and velvet musk. It smells like you definitely paid your car note on time this month.

• Black Raspberry Vanilla (The Sweetest Escape): Our #1 customer favorite. A luscious blend of ripe berries and creamy vanilla that makes any room feel like a luxury sanctuary, even if the repo man is outside.

• Apples & Bourbon (The "Happy Hour" Tonic): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. The perfect fragrance for unwinding after a long day of fielding collection calls.

• Sun Washed Citrus (The Energy Reset): Zesty lemon and agave create a crisp, refreshing atmosphere. It’s the bright, clean energy you need to wake up and try again tomorrow.

• Butt Naked (Tropical Joy): A fun, fruity explosion of melon, pear, and strawberry. Because if you can't pay the mortgage, you might as well smell like you're on a beach.

• Fresh Linen (The "Clean Slate" Scent): A light, airy blend of powder and musk. It smells like fresh laundry and a quiet house—perfect for enjoying the silence of an ignored phone.

• Fresh Cut Roses (I'm Still Fabulous): A true, deep rose fragrance. For 100 hours of premium floral luxury that says "they haven't taken my dignity yet."