• THE ULTIMATE SAVAGE GAG GIFT: Sarcastic, petty, and perfectly blunt. This candle is the best way to tell someone exactly where they stand (which is nowhere). Ideal for breakup survival kits, white elephant parties, or just to keep on your desk to ward off unwanted attention.

• 100 HOURS OF COLD TRUTH: Feelings might be temporary, but this candle isn't. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer an 80–100 hour burn time, giving you plenty of time to enjoy your own company in peace.

• FARM-POURED & HEARTLESS: Hand-poured on our family farm in Lebanon, Missouri, using 100% natural soy wax. It provides a clean, non-toxic burn that clears the air of "catchin' feelings" and replaces it with premium, farm-fresh fragrance.

• SCENTS FOR THE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE: From the "Clean Slate" vibes of Fresh Linen to the dark, sophisticated notes of Sandalwood & Suede, our scents are designed for those who prefer high-quality fragrance over high-maintenance relationships.

• DURABLE & REUSABLE MASON JAR: Our heavy-duty glass jars are as tough as your heart. Once you’ve burned through the 100 hours of peak sarcasm, clean it out and reuse it for storage or a cold drink.

"No Feelings" Scent Menu (The Savage Edition)

• Sandalwood & Suede (The "Ice Queen/King" Scent): A rich, complex blend of dark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk. It’s sophisticated, grounding, and smells like someone who is far too busy being successful to have "feelings."

• Fresh Linen (The "Clean Break" Choice): A crisp, airy blend of powder and musk. It smells like a fresh start, a clean house, and the beautiful silence of not caring about anyone’s drama.

• Sun Washed Citrus (Bright & Unbothered): Zesty lemon and agave create a refreshing, sharp atmosphere. It’s the perfect "mood-booster" for someone who is perfectly happy exactly as they are.

• Black Raspberry Vanilla (Sweet Sarcasm): Our #1 bestseller. A luscious blend of ripe berries and creamy vanilla. It’s the sweet reward you give yourself for having excellent boundaries.

• Apples & Bourbon (The "Cold Comfort" Scent): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. A strong, inviting fragrance for toasting to the fact that you’re staying single and loving it.

• Butt Naked (Tropical "Solo" Vacation): A fun, fruity explosion of melon, pear, and strawberry. Because you're having way too much fun on your own to worry about anyone else's feelings.

• Fresh Cut Roses (I Can Buy Myself Flowers): A true, deep rose fragrance. Proof that you can enjoy the romance of a bouquet without the actual headache of a person attached to it.