• THE ULTIMATE "FAVORITE CHILD" GIFT: Stop searching for the perfect present—you already are the perfect present! This hilarious candle tells it like it is: having you as a son is the only gift they’ll ever truly need. It’s the perfect gag gift for any parent with a sense of humor.

• 100 HOURS OF "YOU'RE WELCOME": A gift this good should last. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer a long-lasting 80–100 hour burn time, so they can enjoy your "presence" (and this amazing scent) for weeks on end.

• FARM-FRESH QUALITY: Hand-poured on our family farm in Lebanon, Missouri. Made with 100% natural soy wax for a clean, non-toxic burn that replaces the stress of parenting with high-quality, farm-fresh fragrance.

• SCENTS FOR THE "LUCKY" PARENT: Whether they need the calming notes of Fresh Linen after your latest antics or the rich, sophisticated aroma of Sandalwood & Suede, our premium oils are designed to fill a room without being overpowering.

• USA MADE & REUSABLE: Our heavy-duty glass mason jars are proudly made in the USA and can be cleaned and reused long after the candle is gone. It's a high-quality, sustainable gift that keeps on giving—just like you.

"The Only Gift You Need" Scent Menu

• Black Raspberry Vanilla (The #1 Crowd-Pleaser) A sweet, luscious reward for all those years of parenting. This blend of sun-ripened berries and creamy vanilla is our most popular scent for a reason—it’s simply the best.

• Sandalwood & Suede (The Sophisticated Sanctuary) For the parent who appreciates the finer things. This complex mix of dark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk creates a high-end, calming atmosphere that feels like a quiet evening.

• Sun Washed Citrus (The "Bright Child" Energy) Zesty lemon and blue agave create a crisp, refreshing scent that brightens any room. It’s the perfect "thank you for raising me" fragrance.

• Apples & Bourbon (The Classic Toast) A strong, warm blend of orchard apples and sweet maple with a smooth bourbon finish. It’s cozy, inviting, and feels like a celebration.

• Fresh Linen (The "Clean Slate" Choice) A light, airy scent that smells like fresh laundry and a peaceful home. Ideal for clearing the air and creating a "no drama" zone.

• Butt Naked (The Fun & Fruity Vacation) Because they probably need a vacation! A tropical explosion of honeydew melon, strawberries, and pears that brings a summer vibe to the house year-round.

• Fresh Cut Roses (The Floral "I Love You") A true, deep rose scent that captures the essence of a fresh bouquet. It’s a classic way to show appreciation while maintaining your status as the favorite.