FOR THE ROMANCE-RESISTANT: Not everyone wants a candle that says "I Love You." This "EW, Valentine's Day" candle is for the realists, the skeptics, and the humor-lovers who want to celebrate February 14th with a laugh instead of a sappy card.

100 HOURS OF PURE ESCAPISM: If you’re avoiding the red-and-pink chaos outside, stay in and enjoy the glow. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer an 80–100 hour burn time, lasting much longer than those drugstore roses.

FARM-POURED & MUSH-FREE: Hand-poured on our family farm in Lebanon, Missouri, using 100% natural soy wax. It offers a clean, non-toxic burn that clears the air of cheesy sentiment and replaces it with premium, fragrance.

SCENTS FOR THE UNBOTHERED: From the "Clean Slate" vibes of Fresh Linen to the dark, sophisticated notes of Sandalwood & Suede, our scents are designed for those who appreciate quality over clichés.

USA MADE & REUSABLE: Our heavy-duty glass mason jars are built to last. Once you’ve survived the 100 hours of peak sarcasm, clean out the jar and reuse it for storage or a "Not-Valentine's" drink.

Butt Naked (The "Anti-Valentine" Escape): Forget the stuffy dinner date! This fun, fruity explosion of honeydew melon, strawberries, and pears feels like a carefree summer vacation where nobody is asking for a commitment.

Sandalwood & Suede (Sophisticated Sanctuary): A rich, earthy blend of dark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk. It’s the "grown-up" choice for a night in, proving you don't need a date to enjoy a high-end, moody atmosphere.

Sun Washed Citrus (Bright & Refreshing): Zesty lemon and agave create a crisp, energizing scent. It’s the perfect "mood-booster" for someone who is perfectly happy ignoring the holiday and focusing on their own bright future.

Black Raspberry Vanilla (The Sweetest Revenge): Our #1 bestseller. A luscious blend of ripe berries and creamy vanilla. It’s the sweet treat you deserve—no heart-shaped box required.

Fresh Linen (The "Quiet House" Dream): A crisp, clean scent with a powder and musk blend. It smells like fresh sheets and a clean home—the absolute peace of a house with zero relationship drama.

Apples & Bourbon (The "Cheers To Me" Scent): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. A strong, inviting fragrance for toasting to the fact that you’re spending the night exactly how you want to.

Fresh Cut Roses (Ironic Floral Luxury): A true, deep rose fragrance. It’s the most ironic scent for this label—100 hours of premium roses for the person who thinks Valentine's Day is "Ew."