THE ULTIMATE REALITY CHECK: Celebrate the grind with a label that doesn't sugarcoat a thing. Featuring hilarious scent notes of Marlboro Lights and Denied Disability, this candle is the perfect edgy gift for the friend who handles life's hurdles with a sense of humor and a lot of grit.

100 HOURS OF THE DAILY STRUGGLE: Life is a marathon, and so is this candle. Our massive 16oz mason jar candles (Net Wt 13.5 oz) offer an 80–100 hour burn time, lasting through every long conversation about "what could have been" and every plan for what's next.

SMALL-BATCH FARM QUALITY: The label might be cynical, but our craftsmanship is strictly top-tier. Each candle is hand-poured with love by the Lebanon Candle Company on our family farm using 100% natural soy wax for a clean, soot-free burn that clears the air.

SCENTS FOR THE UNFILTERED: From the "Clean Slate" vibes of Fresh Linen to the sophisticated "Rich Reality" notes of Sandalwood & Suede, our premium fragrances are designed to fill your sanctuary while you plot your next move.

USA MADE & REUSABLE MASON JAR: Proudly made in the USA with heavy-duty glass. Once you’ve burned through 100 hours of crippled ambition, clean out the jar and reuse it for storage, loose change, or an iced coffee to fuel your next hustle.

The "Cigarettes & Crippled Ambition" Scent Menu

• Sandalwood & Suede (The "Classy Hustle"): A rich, sophisticated blend of dark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk. It smells like the luxury lifestyle you deserve, even if the disability office says otherwise.

• Black Raspberry Vanilla (The Sweetest Reward): Our #1 customer favorite. A luscious mix of ripe berries and creamy vanilla. The perfect sweet treat for surviving another day of the grind.

• Apples & Bourbon (The "Happy Hour" Blend): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. The perfect fragrance for unwinding when the "ambition" part of the day is finally over.

• Sun Washed Citrus (The Energy Reset): Zesty lemon and agave create a crisp, refreshing atmosphere. Because even when ambition is crippled, you still need a bright start in the morning.

• Butt Naked (Tropical Joy): A fun, fruity explosion of melon, pear, and strawberry. It smells like the vacation you’re definitely going on... as soon as that check finally clears.

• Fresh Linen (The "Evidence Eraser"): A crisp, clean scent with a powder and musk blend. It smells like fresh laundry and the absolute peace of a house free from outside drama.

• Fresh Cut Roses (Ironic Luxury): A true, deep rose fragrance. Nothing says "I’m still fabulous" like 100 hours of premium floral luxury to balance out life's rougher edges.