Alimony and Tequila Funny Candle
Description
THE ULTIMATE FRESH START GIFT: Celebrate the sweet smell of freedom with a label that tells the whole story. Whether it’s for a divorce party, a "congratulations on your new chapter" gift, or just a personal trophy for reclaiming your space, this candle honors the best trade-off ever: half the stuff for twice the peace.
100 HOURS OF BLISSFUL SILENCE: Peace and quiet should last, and our wax is built to ensure it does. Our massive 16oz mason jar candles (Net Wt 13.5 oz) offer an impressive 80–100 hour burn time, giving you plenty of "me time" to enjoy your own space.
SMALL-BATCH FARM QUALITY: They might have taken half the furniture, but they didn't take your high standards. Each candle is hand-poured with care on our family farm using 100% natural soy wax for a clean, soot-free burn that keeps your new sanctuary smelling like a fresh start.
SCENTS FOR THE INDEPENDENT: From the "Cleaning Out the Closet" vibes of Fresh Linen to the "Happy Hour" notes of Apples & Bourbon, our premium fragrances are designed to fill your home with an aroma that feels as good as a finalized settlement.
USA MADE & REUSABLE MASON JAR: Proudly made in the USA with heavy-duty glass. Once you’ve burned through 100 hours of peak independence, clean out the jar and reuse it for storage, loose change, or—fittingly—a very large margarita to toast your peace.
The "Alimony & Tequila" Scent Menu
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Butt Naked (The Tropical Getaway): A fun, fruity explosion of melon, pear, and strawberry. Because your new life should feel like a permanent vacation from the drama.
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Black Raspberry Vanilla (Sweet Serenity): Our #1 customer favorite. A luscious blend of ripe berries and creamy vanilla that makes your space feel like a five-star retreat you don't have to share with anyone.
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Apples & Bourbon (The "Cheers to Freedom" Blend): Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. The perfect fragrance for a celebratory toast to your new house rules.
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Sun Washed Citrus (The Energy Reset): Zesty lemon and agave create a bright, energizing atmosphere. It’s the crisp, clean energy you need for your brand-new chapter.
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Sandalwood & Suede (The Grounded Life): A rich, sophisticated blend of cedarwood and velvet musk. It smells like high-end furniture and the quiet confidence of a peaceful home.
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Fresh Linen (The "Evidence Eraser"): A light, airy blend of powder and musk. It smells like fresh laundry, open windows, and a life with zero drama.
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Fresh Cut Roses (Self-Love Bouquet): A true, deep rose fragrance. You don’t need an anniversary to have flowers—give yourself 100 hours of premium floral luxury.
